During the 1994 National Unity debate, Lucien Bouchard made headlines when he predicted Quebec's separation would lead to the swift fall of English Canada to American invasion.
And then these odd, French-only V8 posters mysteriously began to appear in downtown Toronto.
And then these odd, French-only V8 posters mysteriously began to appear in downtown Toronto.
Reprinted from the June 14, 1994 issue of The Outrider
Anglophone Canadians trembled recently when Lucien Bouchard revealed a secret American plan to annex Western Canada in the wake of Quebec separation.
And while the Bloc Quebecois Leader later denied making such statements (by arguing "I would be crazy. Am I crazy? Am I crazy? Do I look crazy?"), his skilled rhetoric came too late to quell Anglo anxieties.
I make this observation after having seen not one, but three French-only V8 advertisements in the Wellesley/Yonge/Church streets area: an obvious bid to placate French-speaking vegetable juice drinkers.
The area chosen for this campaign is a common site for bold and experimental advertising. The wall painting of Cat Woman at Yonge and Wellesley attracted a great deal of attention, and TTC ridership increased greatly at Church and Wellesley when the transit shelter there posted a nicely photographed ad for Toronto's only lesbian strip club.
With such a tradition of liberality it's no wonder that this area has been chosen for the latest "My Canada Includes More Than Your Canada" campaign.
The posters, which hang outside a couple of convenience stores, show two people, each drinking a V8. Underneath is the phrase "V8 est a notre gout," which I believe means "V8 prevents gout" — although I am unable to confirm this as my translator isn't talking to me until she determines whether or not Bouchard is, in fact, crazy.
Nevertheless, such a translation makes sense as a ploy to hold onto Quebec. Rich French cooking has been known to cause gout; V8 prevents gout. Subtextually, what the ads are saying is that no matter what Quebec wishes to dish up, we'll eat it.
At the top of the ad is the word "Sante!" which is probably French for "Sanity." What clearer message could we send to Quebec as a plea for Canadian unity? Protesters will storm Ottawa chanting: "My Canada includes Sanity!" and "V8 prevents gout!"
It's this kind of unambiguous sloganism that has served so well in forcing carefully planned political action in the past.
Nor should we, as do some, take lightly the threat of separation. While many commentators have pointed out various problems that could arise should Quebec choose independence, M. Bouchard has, in fact, openly stated what the rest of us have hardly dared even think: that with Quebec gone there would be nothing to prevent an American invasion. Surely even the most politically naive have known that the only reason Canada has not already been invaded is because of the States' natural reluctance to saddle itself with the problem of Quebec nationalists.
And so it is with many thanks that we salute V8's selfless effort to do its part in keeping Canada together. I'd like to end with one of those rousing French slogans, but I just called my translator and she still hasn't determined Bouchard's mental stability.
Some mysteries may never be solved.
